After being home for a few months now I feel safe in saying that Nathan is settled. Yesterday was such a great day. He woke up smiling, played with us, behaved when we went out for lunch,took his nap on time, played some more, ate and ate, and slept on time. For the past 3 weeks, Nathan has been sleeping through the night with the occasional getting up for milk once during the night and back to sleep. He is going to sleep on time. It took us many months to get to this point. Happy happy family we are.
For the past month we have been trying to provide a steady environment for Nathan so that he does not feel anxiety. We stopped going out to unknown places unless we were accompanied by known companions, like Nathan's Uncle Gary and Aunt Katherine. We made sure we were home in time for bedtime and we took no road trips. All of this helped him settle down.
Nathan is starting to speak more. His vocabulary has increased but he is not yet speaking fluently or consistently. The few things he is saying are in English but I think only Keyoor and I can understand them. He says daddy, mom, look, light, bathroom, more, and a few sentences like "I want to go", "It's not dirty (re: diaper)", "How are you."
Funny incident which occurred the day after he learned to say "mom." Nathan was talking on his toy cell phone, yelling into it. He sounded like a teenager yelling on the phone, sorta like she did this and she said that. I asked him, "Nathan, who are you complaining about, who are you mad at?" He turned around and gave his stink eye look and yelled "MOM,MOM, MOM". I laughed so hard. Needless to say he didn't appreciate the laughter.
Let me share the Walgreens story. I found out how impressive Nathan's motor skills were when we went to Walgreens. Nathan did not want to sit in the cart and insisted on pushing it by himself. I of course had to hold him up so he could reach the cart but I was not allowed to touch the cart unless I wanted to be subject to screaming. Enter the terrible twos six months earlier. Anyway, he pushed the cart down the aisle, rounded the corners to next aisle, maneuvered around people and boxes. I was amazed at his motor skills. 18 month old and can push a shopping cart in a straight line.
Nathan's food tastes are changing. He now likes foods he previously didn't. He now drinks lemonade and eats carrots. Homemade Indian food remains his favorite but hot dogs, french fries, and chicken nuggets are close favorites. Grapes are his favorite snack. We buy 2 boxes of red grapes at Trader Joes every week and Nathan devours them. The other day I was drinking tea with honey and Nathan wanted to try it. I thought whats the harm, he won't like it. Well he gulped it down. Note to myself, don't let him try beer.
New activities learned recently: climbing. Nathan now knows how to climb stairs, play on the slide by himself,climb onto the coffee table and climb onto the dining chairs. He attempts to climb everything and doesn't realize that not everything is climbable.
Nathan loves to give hugs and kisses. He is stingy with his hugs and kisses and they are usually just reserved for mommy and daddy. He feels left out if Keyoor and I hug so we started the family hug. It's where the three of us huddle together. Nathan loves it and insists we do a family hug a few times a day. How can I resist, hugging my two favorite boys at the same time.
7/27/09
7/21/09
A few thoughts before I move on to present day
Sorry I haven't written in awhile. I intended to update everyone with blogs of happenings from our India trip but in wanting to do so I haven't had updates on what Nathan is up to. And so this is a quick list of things I wanted to say about our India trip but never got around to it. All future blogs will be about the present or near present.
Here is a reflection on our India trip.
The First Day
I never got to blog about this the way I wanted. This day deserves it's own entry but I have to face the fact that I lack the time to give it justice. The first day was April 14, 2009. This is the day we first met Nathan and he became ours to hold. The day began with Rajeev, our agency India coordinator, meeting us in the hotel lobby at 9am. Over breakfast he filled us in on what to expect. The most important advice he gave was that when we first meet Nathan to grab hold of him and give him a big bear hug and not let go. He said that will make Nathan feel secure.
We arrived at the orphanage with our suitcase filled with donations. The orphanage was smaller than I imagined. It was a 2 story building which was open and airy. As they gave us a tour of the place we walked into one room and someone came up to me and said here he is and handed me Nathan. No warning, no prep, totally unexpected. I thought I was getting a tour and suddenly my child is in my arms. In the shock of it all I remembered Rajeev's advice and grabbed him and gave him a big bear hug. I hugged him for the longest time. Our initial impression of Nathan was that he looked nothing like his pictures. He was much smaller and much darker than we had anticipated. Boy was he lovable. Our hearts melted as we held him. What a beautiful child and he was ours. We stayed at the orphanage a few hours and met the other children, took pictures, gave out donations ( we had taken a suitcase full), and gave the gifts the other families sent for their kids. At the end of it all, the orphanage held a goodbye ceremony. This was a religious ceremony in which all the kids and orphanage caretakers and administrators participated. The hardest part of this was seeing the children. They wanted to know where there parents were. They wanted to know why the baby was going home but they were not. The orphanage director explained to them that they had parents who would come for them soon and soon they would have their own goodbye ceremony. For the most part this is true.
Nathan fell asleep in Keyoor's arms at the orphanage. He woke up on the car ride back to the hotel. He watched in amazement out the car window at the world that was so new to him. At the hotel, Keyoor and I felt like we were in a dream. Here was the beautiful little boy that was our son and was finally with us. Thank you God.
Some Other Random Thoughts
1. I'm glad Nathan got to spend time with his cousins and his paternal grandparents. He loved his new family and they loved being with him.
2. Being in India was tough, the hot weather, the constant change of environment, the many plane rides, and life with a toddler.
3. Rajeev was our agency's India coordinator. Thank goodness he was there to help us. He is a wonderful man who makes sure the children find good homes. He also started his orphanage in Nepal for which he is always in need of donations. Let me know if you ever want to donate any supplies to India or Nepal orphanages. The need is great.
4. I wanted to write about the religious aspect of the adoption, how this all came to be. In a simple sentence, God led us to our child, and helped us bring him home.
5. It's been a long journey and one that does not end until the adoption is finalized. The road to finalizing the adoption in California is long and of course involves more paperwork and more money. It will take many months. I wish something in this process was easy. Actually the most important thing has been, loving Nathan and Nathan loving us.
Here is a reflection on our India trip.
The First Day
I never got to blog about this the way I wanted. This day deserves it's own entry but I have to face the fact that I lack the time to give it justice. The first day was April 14, 2009. This is the day we first met Nathan and he became ours to hold. The day began with Rajeev, our agency India coordinator, meeting us in the hotel lobby at 9am. Over breakfast he filled us in on what to expect. The most important advice he gave was that when we first meet Nathan to grab hold of him and give him a big bear hug and not let go. He said that will make Nathan feel secure.
We arrived at the orphanage with our suitcase filled with donations. The orphanage was smaller than I imagined. It was a 2 story building which was open and airy. As they gave us a tour of the place we walked into one room and someone came up to me and said here he is and handed me Nathan. No warning, no prep, totally unexpected. I thought I was getting a tour and suddenly my child is in my arms. In the shock of it all I remembered Rajeev's advice and grabbed him and gave him a big bear hug. I hugged him for the longest time. Our initial impression of Nathan was that he looked nothing like his pictures. He was much smaller and much darker than we had anticipated. Boy was he lovable. Our hearts melted as we held him. What a beautiful child and he was ours. We stayed at the orphanage a few hours and met the other children, took pictures, gave out donations ( we had taken a suitcase full), and gave the gifts the other families sent for their kids. At the end of it all, the orphanage held a goodbye ceremony. This was a religious ceremony in which all the kids and orphanage caretakers and administrators participated. The hardest part of this was seeing the children. They wanted to know where there parents were. They wanted to know why the baby was going home but they were not. The orphanage director explained to them that they had parents who would come for them soon and soon they would have their own goodbye ceremony. For the most part this is true.
Nathan fell asleep in Keyoor's arms at the orphanage. He woke up on the car ride back to the hotel. He watched in amazement out the car window at the world that was so new to him. At the hotel, Keyoor and I felt like we were in a dream. Here was the beautiful little boy that was our son and was finally with us. Thank you God.
Some Other Random Thoughts
1. I'm glad Nathan got to spend time with his cousins and his paternal grandparents. He loved his new family and they loved being with him.
2. Being in India was tough, the hot weather, the constant change of environment, the many plane rides, and life with a toddler.
3. Rajeev was our agency's India coordinator. Thank goodness he was there to help us. He is a wonderful man who makes sure the children find good homes. He also started his orphanage in Nepal for which he is always in need of donations. Let me know if you ever want to donate any supplies to India or Nepal orphanages. The need is great.
4. I wanted to write about the religious aspect of the adoption, how this all came to be. In a simple sentence, God led us to our child, and helped us bring him home.
5. It's been a long journey and one that does not end until the adoption is finalized. The road to finalizing the adoption in California is long and of course involves more paperwork and more money. It will take many months. I wish something in this process was easy. Actually the most important thing has been, loving Nathan and Nathan loving us.
6/2/09
What's in a name?
Every now and then we get asked why we gave our son an American name. Actually people in India asked why did we give him a Christian name. People here ask why did we not give him an Indian name. So here is the story.
Keyoor and I were looking for a name that was easy to pronounce and easily recognizable. Since we both have difficult names we wanted a simple name for our child. There are two indian boy names that are also american boy names. I didn't care for either of those names although liked one of them. We set a deadline and if we didn't have a name by said date we would pick one of the two known names. Since I was determined to find a different name, I got out my Hindu name book and read every name starting at the beginning with the letter A. I bought the Hindu name book when Keyoor and I took our first trip to India as a married couple back in 1998. Finally I got to use it.
It wasn't just the name that mattered to us, I also wanted a good meaning, a religious meaning. So when I came across the name NATHAN, I knew it was perfect. As soon as I said it Keyoor and I knew it was THE NAME. I never looked at names after that.
The Hindu meaning for Nathan is Lord Krishna. The American meaning is Given by God. We truly feel Nathan is our gift from God so the name is so perfect.
Keyoor and I were looking for a name that was easy to pronounce and easily recognizable. Since we both have difficult names we wanted a simple name for our child. There are two indian boy names that are also american boy names. I didn't care for either of those names although liked one of them. We set a deadline and if we didn't have a name by said date we would pick one of the two known names. Since I was determined to find a different name, I got out my Hindu name book and read every name starting at the beginning with the letter A. I bought the Hindu name book when Keyoor and I took our first trip to India as a married couple back in 1998. Finally I got to use it.
It wasn't just the name that mattered to us, I also wanted a good meaning, a religious meaning. So when I came across the name NATHAN, I knew it was perfect. As soon as I said it Keyoor and I knew it was THE NAME. I never looked at names after that.
The Hindu meaning for Nathan is Lord Krishna. The American meaning is Given by God. We truly feel Nathan is our gift from God so the name is so perfect.
5/26/09
Prayers for Gracin
If you have been reading my blog you have seen me write about Traci and Gracin. See my Embassy Day blogs for more details on who they are. Yesterday I received a very troubling email from Traci. Gracin is sick and had to have emergency surgery over the weekend. She has an infection in both legs and her right arm. She is expected to be in the hospital for 6 weeks. Gracin is Nathan's age and my heartaches that this sweet little girl had to endure a painful surgery.
When you go through the adoption process, you become so close to all the families who go through this process with you. Even if you have never met, you form bonds with these other families and their children. We are a strong online community and we share each others joys and tears. I have cried so much since hearing the news about Gracin. You go through so much to bring your child home and its disheartening to see them suffer. Thank goodness she is here with Traci and not stuck in an orphanage where her infection would have gone untreated.
I believe in the power of prayer as does Traci. Please pray for Traci and Gracin. Traci has created a carepage for Gracin where you can keep tabs on her progress and leave messages. http://www.carepages.com/carepages/AmazinGracin
When you go through the adoption process, you become so close to all the families who go through this process with you. Even if you have never met, you form bonds with these other families and their children. We are a strong online community and we share each others joys and tears. I have cried so much since hearing the news about Gracin. You go through so much to bring your child home and its disheartening to see them suffer. Thank goodness she is here with Traci and not stuck in an orphanage where her infection would have gone untreated.
I believe in the power of prayer as does Traci. Please pray for Traci and Gracin. Traci has created a carepage for Gracin where you can keep tabs on her progress and leave messages. http://www.carepages.com/carepages/AmazinGracin
5/22/09
Embassy Day 2
I already blogged about the 1st day at the Embassy but I wanted to tell you about Day 2 at the Embassy as it was suggest a momentous day in our life. Just like the day before, we met Rajeev in the lobby of our hotel. Traci, sweet Gracin, and Traci's dear friend Helen joined us as well. This was going to be a big day for all of us. It was great seeing Gracin today. It was her 3rd day with Traci and we could start to see Gracin opening up to her. Gracin was more outgoing today and not as sleepy. She was feeling so comfortable with Traci and Helen. It's always great to see kids developing their bonds with their parents.
When we got to the Embassy there was a long line but Rajeev worked his magic and we got in right away. No line for us. Once inside we waited for our names to be called. Part of the process to get a Visa is an interview. For adoption cases the interview questions are primarily did you like your agency, how long did your adoption process take. Our process from beginning to end took 2 years. I thought it was strange that the embassy official asked why it took so long. For us it took 2 years because it took us a year for find our current agency. And then of course several months were wasted when our orphanage license had to be renewed. The normal process does take 1 1/2 to 2 years. Most agencies take about 12 months just give a referral and then the remainder of the process takes 6 to 12 months. My agency of course is awesome and has quick referral times.
What made this day so great is twofold. First, at the embassy, there are many other families who are waiting for their Visa to bring their child home. It was so great to meet the other families and their children. We all shared the same joy.
The other great thing about this day is that we received Nathan's visa. This means he can come home. And it means the official end of the adoption process. Hooray Hooray Hooray for us and for Traci.
When we got to the Embassy there was a long line but Rajeev worked his magic and we got in right away. No line for us. Once inside we waited for our names to be called. Part of the process to get a Visa is an interview. For adoption cases the interview questions are primarily did you like your agency, how long did your adoption process take. Our process from beginning to end took 2 years. I thought it was strange that the embassy official asked why it took so long. For us it took 2 years because it took us a year for find our current agency. And then of course several months were wasted when our orphanage license had to be renewed. The normal process does take 1 1/2 to 2 years. Most agencies take about 12 months just give a referral and then the remainder of the process takes 6 to 12 months. My agency of course is awesome and has quick referral times.
What made this day so great is twofold. First, at the embassy, there are many other families who are waiting for their Visa to bring their child home. It was so great to meet the other families and their children. We all shared the same joy.
The other great thing about this day is that we received Nathan's visa. This means he can come home. And it means the official end of the adoption process. Hooray Hooray Hooray for us and for Traci.
5/19/09
Updating Blog
I did not get a chance in India to update my blog as I wanted. I have so much about our journey I want to share. As I get a chance I will update the blog. Some entries may be out of order as a result.
5/17/09
We are home
Nathan is home. We got home on Thursday. It was a long flight and Nathan cried through a good portion of it. But we finally made it. At the airport to greet us was Keyoor's sister Rita and her husband Kiran. They came with a bouquet of balloons. Also there were my parents bearing toys and food. Several of my cousins also came to the airport to welcome Nathan. Despite the long flight, Nathan was his bubbly self and went to everyone and was laughing and smiling. I guess he knew he was home.
We landed in San Franciso in the afternoon and that evening we drove home to Folsom. Luckily Nathan fell asleep in the car seat so we did not have to hear him scream for 2 hours. We entered the house and my mom did a special prayer ceremony to welcome Nathan. My sister Manali had created a Welcome Home Nathan banner and it was hanging in the entrance. She had been there the week before and had turned the house into a wonderland for Nathan. Every room of the house had toys galore. She stocked the kitchen with baby utensils, baby plates and cups and bibs. In the bathroom were bathtoys and lotions, shampoo, baby oil. In Nathan's room there were more wall decors and his dresser was filled with clothes. I don't know who was more suprised Nathan or Mommy. This was better than Christmas morning. Between my sister Manali, my sister Rina and her hubby Randy, my parents, my cousins, Keyoor's sister Rita and her husband Kiran, Nathan and his parents were showered with gifts. I got several months of diaper supply.
Nathan is loving his new home. He is still adjusting to the time change and has anxiety about staying in yet another new place but he is slowing coming around. He is loving his toys and his walks in the stroller. I'm loving having my mom here to cook yummy meals. Nathan is already eating more and eating healthier.
In a few days he should be settled. He did sleep through the night last night so we are making progess.
I have lots of updates to make to blog and will do those as I get time. Thanks all. This journey started 2 years ago and we are home with our child. It is a dream come true.
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