Haircut

Lots to catch up on. As always limited time. On Wed, we went to my uncle's house for dinner. I was so happy to take Nathan there as some of my favorite childhood memories were my summers spent at Anilmama's (uncle) house. I showed Nathan my grandmother's old room and we sat on the front porch swing and I reminisced about Ma. I know Ma must have been looking down on the two of us overjoyed at her great grandson. Nathan had a wonderful time playing with his 5 year old cousin Jenna.
On Thursday, Nathan got his haircut.I shed a tear as his curls vanished but I have to say that he looks even cuter. And I find it easier to wash his hair. Nathan was great during the haircut. Then since we all had so much fun at Anilmama's house, we headed back there in the evening. To me, Anilmama's house is home sweet home and I was thrilled that Nathan was enjoying it so much. Jenna and Nathan had so much fun running around the house together.
On Friday, we went to Law Garden ( a beautiful park with fountains, kids rides, and outdoor eateries). Nathan loved it. He ran around the park for hours. He tired us out. He loved seeing the horses, the dogs, the birds, and the people. As always, he said hi to everyone.
On Saturday we decided to go spend the night at my uncle's house. I don't know who was more thrilled, me or Nathan. I never thought I would get the chance after marriage to go stay at Anilmama's house so I was in heaven. Nathan too had the best time. I have never seen him laugh so much. He feels at home here and I am thrilled.
Today, Sunday, we are spending the day at Anilmama's then in the evening we are all going to visit my cousin Bhoumik and his family.
All is well. Nathan gets more and more adjusted every week. His health is better and other than vitamins he is off his other meds. Nathan loves live. Each day he is happier and happier. Keyoor and I continue to thank God for this beautiful child. And now I say, with tears in my eyes, something I never thought I would say - Everything I went through in my quest to have a child was worth it, I now know that God created this beautiful baby for me and I was just biding time waiting for this perfect child to be born and enter into our lives. I know Nathan is, always will be and was always planned by God to be my child. I finally have closure.

Social Butterfly

Nathan is such a social butterfly. Yesterday he attend his first party. It was a 50th anniversary party for a relative on Keyoor's side. It was held at an outdoor restaurant. Nathan loved it. He roamed around on the restaurant grounds and when he was up to it he joined the party. There was a band and traditional dancers. Nathan loves music. He was clapping his hands and dancing along to the beat. There were children at the party and Nathan was overjoyed. He gets so excited when he sees other children. They were older than him , around 8, but he insisted on playing with them. As they ran around the party, he followed. He would even go up to them and tap them saying in baby talk I wanna play. Even when they ran into the unlit area, Nathan was brave and followed them. No mommy or daddy needed. He wanted to be a big boy and he could venture on his own. I've never seen him so happy. He was smiling and laughing and excited as could be. After the party we went and met up with a friend for dinner. Nathan cried the first half hour but after that he let us enjoy dinner. Again the social butterfly, just chatting away in baby talk with Nilesh. Yesterday was our best day yet in terms of Nathan being on schedule with naps and no major crying attacks. Nathan likes - kids, Hershey's chocolate bar. Nathan dislikes car rides ( he gets car sick) and dairy products (ice cream, yogurt cheese) except he likes warm milk with sugar.
This morning I took Nathan to the park.It was mommy and Nathan time. We try to go every morning. He likes the slide and the merry go round. There were kids at the park with a dog. Nathan loved playing with the dog. It was yellow lab. He kept petting the dog and laughing as the dog played catch. For his morning nap I was laying on the bed and Nathan climbed up and laid on top of me and fell asleep. Priceless. I thank God everyday for this beautiful loving child he gave us.
Rajal

One Week Anniversary

It's been a week since we got Nathan. I can't believe we have been a family for a whole week. Nathan is like a puzzle. One day he's happy as the be and the next day he cries to no end. Yesterday was a I'm not sleeping no matter what day. Usually he takes a morning nap and an afternoon nap. Yesterday he woke up from the morning nap and did not get sleep again till 1:00am. From 4pm to 1 am all we did was try to get him to sleep. Nathan was sleepy, he kept yawning and rubbing his eyes and fighting to stay awake. He was cranky as can be. But at least it wasn't a 8 hour crying day again. To tire him out further, Keyoor and I took him to the park, walked around the neighborhood, had him play with the neighbors kids, fed him milk several times, gave him 2 baths, and even gave him a medication that makes him drowsy. Nothing. And poor Keyoor, Nathan has been daddy's boy for the past 2 days. So Keyoor carried him for hours and hours. The family members took turns holding him, the neighbors maid came and held him for a while, the 4 security guards ( we are in a high rise) each took turns walking around the gardens with him. Notice I did not say Mommy held him. Nathan is currently anti-mommy. Even when he wakes up he pushes me away. Not sure how this happened or why. But I'm sure he will come around eventually. Actually I know why, daddy gets the fun jobs and mommy gets the bad ones (i.e. diaper change).
Despite all that, we are having fun seeing the world through Nathan's eyes. He is so smart and Keyoor and I have to really keep up with him. Nathan's new trick is while he is drinking milk he likes to stick his fingers in the milk and then throw it on mommy. He knows two words - dada (daddy) and no no no no. Nathan loves playing peek a boo and playing with his bat. He also knows eyes and nose because of his book Goodnight Sleepy Head. Nathan is fascinated with the world around him and we can't wait to get him home.

Finally a good day

The last few days have been rough with Nathan. Turns out he had a stomach infection. Apparently he had it since the orphanage. Luckily my brother-in-law is a pediatrician and he got him the proper medicines. Yesterday was the first day that Nathan did not cry. Yesterday he smiled, laughed, played with his cousin-sisters (first cousins). He is now loving life. His foi (aunt) got him some toys yesterday and he played all day. Quite the sports start. He played cricket with the neighbors kids, kick around the ball, and was running all around the house playing peak-a boo and hide and seek.
Keyoor and I are amazed by this beautiful child. Now that he is feeling better, we are starting to see his true personality. Nathan such a sweet and happy child. He loves to laugh and loves being the center of attention. In fact, when his foi walked into the room and did not immediately say hi to him, Nathan followed her and yelled until she properly greeted him.
Nathan is finally going to everyone. Mommy is finally getting a break. The first few days, he would only let me hold him and he wanted to be held all day long. Now, he lets others hold him and he has grown attached to Keyoor.
Nathan doesn't know how to kiss yet, so he shows affection to me and Keyoor by putting his lips against our cheeks. He also likes to take his finger and put it up to our lips and touch our teeth.
I realize this blog is long but the opportunity to write is rare. I will at some point go back and blog about the day we got him. I meant to blog everyday but it just wasn't possible.
We are loving life with Nathan. He is so smart. We do not know his language and I'm still convinced it's just baby talk, but he seems to understand what we say and through sign language and various screams and tones, we understand what he says.
Nathan loves eating grapes and playing with his cousin-sisters. He hates bath time, diaper changes, and changing clothes. In fact he hates going into the bedroom because he knows that the place where bad things happen ( diaper changes, nap time, bath time, etc.).
The first few days were so difficult. I was so sore from holding him. Not only did I have to hold him but I had to carry him and walk around with him for hours and hours. I don't know what hurt worse, my back or my arms. Bootcamp girls if you are reading this, imaging the 20 lb bar that Val would make us lift half way then all the way, instead of a 2 min rep of that imaging the pain of doing that for 6 hours straight. In addition to that, Nathan would cry and scream for 6 hours straight. Then we figured out he was sick and all is better now. Needless to say that Keyoor and I felt awful that our child was sick for days and we didn't even know it. Nathan is taking his medicine like a champ. He eats it likes its candy.
There is so much I can write but I think you will get bored reading it. I will blog later on the first day at the orphanage. I have tons of pictures but I don't think I will be able to upload them until I return.
One more thing, when Nathan wakes up he doesn't cry. He just sits up in the bed and waits for Keyoor and I to wake up. What a wonderful child God has given us. We are so lucky and so loving being parents.

Day 3 already with Nathan

It has been hectic to say the least. My son finally decided to take nap and I decided to log on to the computer and Rajal went for a shower. He has been fantastic. He woke up smiling today and has been very good. He had his milk and cereal in the morning and we all went for a walk in the park before it was too hot. He loved it. He sat on the swings with mommy. He was quite tired from all the excitement. He played with his sisters for a little bit. He had a whole banana for a snack (Banana's are small in India) and is now taking a nap. It is a much better day today compared to yesterday. The poor thing had his first plane ride and he was very tired. He was a little cranky all day yesterday. He is great again today and loving life.

Nathan is with us

Hi
This will be quick. We picked up Nathan yesterday from the orphanage. He is amazing. Quite a handful too. He gets into everything. We are loving it. Nathan also seems to be loving us. He clings onto us, laughs, smiles, etc. I have so much to write about and will do so later. We leave for Ahmedabad today to be with family. Nathan's first plane ride.
Gotta go.
More later.
Rajal
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Greetings from Hong Kong

I'm keeping this short. Just got off a 15 hour flight from San Fran to Hong Kong. Believe it or not I found the flight relaxing because our week was so stressful. I didn't sleep at all this past week because of all the things we had to do. There was mounds of paperwork to gather. My dining room table was covered in documents. Packing for the trip took so much more time because of all of Nathan's things. In addition there is work. I still have some pending work projects so at some point I will get to those.
The week was so stressful we never got to enjoy that face that Nathan was coming home. But on the plane, all stress was gone and I was overcome with excitement that this trip we had planned in our minds for so long was actually happening. Keyoor and I are just a basket of nerves. Every now and then we pinch ourselves, is this real, are we actually going to hold our son.
But here we are just a few hours aways from landing in India. It's 9:00 am HK time. Our 6 hour flight to India leaves around 2:30 pm HK time. We are enjoying our layover in HK. We are relaxing in the airport. On the return trip we will venture into HK with Nathan. Hong Kong is my favorite city. It's so clean and food is delicious.

I'll will post again when I get Nathan.
Rajal

With the good comes bad

Life is getting crazier by the moment. As we are frantically trying to get things in order for our trip, we learn of two deaths in the family. Keyoor's distant aunt died on Sunday. She was older but very young at heart. She lived in Folsom so we are attending her funeral today. And this morning, Keyoor's uncle (Priyakantmasa) in the bay area dies. He too was older and his health was not good but he was an incredibly well educated and intelligent man. He had several Phds from Oxford, Harvard, etc.

Since I am trying to keep this post as positive as possible, here is the good news for the day.
My little sister Rina passed her Maryland Social Worker License Exam today. Congrats Rinie. As always, we are so proud of you. One of many things we love about Rina is that she sets a goal and nothing stops her from accomplishing it.

And the big news on our end is that we booked our airline tickets. Also made all our travel arrangements in India. Thank goodness we had gone to Pune in 2007/2008 (pre Nathan) on business so we had friends and contacts in the area. We leave at 1:20am on Sunday ( so really Saturday night). Looks like Keyoor and I will be spending our 12th wedding anniversary on the plane. No complaints about that. What could be better than spending our anniversary traveling to be with our son.

To all those who have been emailing and leaving comments on Facebook. Thank you. I'm so touched by all those who share in our joy.

Rajal

So much to do, so little time

We leave for India in 4 days. We are leaving Saturday night. Between now and then I have gather all my documents, shop, pack, laundry, baby proof the house, make travel arrangements, and wrap up work projects. I know, I'm kicking myself for putting off everything. At least the nursery is ready. And I did go out last weekend and buy diapers, clothes, and other travel essentials for Nathan.

When you've never had a child, you really don't know what to shop for. I called my cousin and asked her how many diapers and clothes a child goes through in a day. She said count 4 diapers a day and 2 pairs. That's a lot of clothes I have to buy. No she said, that's a lot a laundry you have to do. Thank goodness I will be in India where there are servants to do the laundry for me.

Shopping is exhausting. I read every label of every product. Shopping is suppose to be fun, what happened.

Last night we went out to celebrate. We only have a few nights of carefree living left.

Today I made the news public. I'm overjoyed and overwhelmed with everyones response.

It's still sinking in. I'm having trouble concentrating on anything else. In just a few days, I'm going to hold my son. Thank you God.

Rajal

Year to date pictures

The very first picture we got of our son.

Nathan at 5 months.

Nathan at 8 months.

Nathan at 9 months.

Nathan at 12 months. Already walking.

Nathan at 13 months. Sound asleep.

Nathan at 14 months.

WE ARE DONE WITH THE COURT PROCESS

Just got word that we received WRITTEN GUARDIANSHIP. This means Nathan is legally our son.!!! It's still sinking in. How quickly life changes. This morning I was fretting over verbal guardianship and here I now have written guardianship. We are all done with the court process in India.

Keyoor and I are leaving for India with weekend to pick up our son. We will stay there until ICPC is complete. ICPC is the US laws that govern interstate transfer of a child. I will submit a separate post on that someday. It's on my list of laws to change . Anyway, we should be home with Nathan in a few weeks.

Rajal

Our Adoption Timeline

October 2001 - July 2007- Keyoor and I work on starting a family. We try everything from naturalpathic medicine to invitro treatments to try and have a baby. I consider those years my tragic years. Too many miscarriages. But I'm not ready to talk about that. Writing means acceptance and I'm not there yet.

June 2007 - Signed up with local agency to start the adoption process. The name of this agency was Accept. The plan was to pursue an independent adoption from India. We wanted to do this because 1) we wanted a child from Gujarat, the state in India where our family is from, 2) we had connections in Gujarat that would help us find a healthy child and move the process along quickly and 3) it was a cheaper option. An independent adoption is one where we find the orphanage, we find the child, and we do all the leg work. Accept would help us with the paperwork.

October 2007 - Our homestudy is complete. A homestudy is written by the adoption agency qualifying you to be an adoptive parent. They look at your financial and medical records, review reference letters from your friends, visit your home and look through all your closets, and interview you several times, both individually and as a couple.

November 2007 - Accept closes for financial reasons. We are so upset. We loved Accept. Our files are transferred to Adopt International. This agency is not approved by the Indian govt (CARA) so Adopt International can be our homestudy agency but they cannot help us with the India adoption. We go on the search for an agency that can help with the India portion of the adoption.

December 2007 - Our I-600A form is approved. This means that the US govt approves us for International Adoption.

January 2008- Finally found an agency to help us with the independent adoption from India. The name of this Agency was Children of India.

April 2008 - Things did not go as planned with Children of India. Eventually they too ended up shutting down. On the India side, ran into a lot of corruption when trying to adopt from Gujarat. Give up on adopting from Gujarat.

May 2008 - Called every agency I could find to see if they could help. No luck. No one would help with independent adoption from India and to go the traditional route of international adoption (where the agency gives us a referral) would take too long. I was getting a timeline of 12-24 months for referral. We give up. We did not want to start over and wait another 2 years before bringing a baby into our life. Took it as a sign that God did not want us to adopt from India. Started looking into domestic adoption within the US. Lots of fears about that but had no choice.

June 2008- Got a referral out of the blue for a 5 month old healthy baby boy in India. I belong to an online group of people trying to adopt from India. I almost unsubscribed from the group when we started exploring domestic adoption. Thank goodness I hadn't. A dear friend from the group emailed to say her agency had a healthy baby boy available for anyone who was ready with their paperwork. We had been ready forever and a day. We contacted her agency and literally overnight we had a son. The name of this agency is IFS.
This miracle happened after a trip we took to Temple Square in Utah. This deserves a separate posting and one of these days I will do that.

August 2008- our dossier (adoption paperwork) gets filed with CARA (the India govt agency overseeing adoptions). We hear it takes 3-8 weeks for CARA to issue a No Objection Certificate. We start planning Nathan's 1st birthday in Dec and his first Christmas.

October 2008- The orphanage license is up for renewal. No cases are processed until CARA renews the license. We are stuck. There goes the Christmas and birthday celebrations.

December 2008- Nathan turns 1. Still no NOC. We spend the holidays with my family in Maryland. We all go out to dinner to celebrate Nathan's 1st birthday. Orphanage license gets renewed.

January 2009 - Received the NOC on New Years Day. The best news ever. We are in Maryland visiting family for the holidays and we all go out to celebrate. We think Nathan should be home by March. We are just waiting on the court process.

February 2009 - The court says they want more documents. Seriously? So we send them and wait.

April 2009 - Court is all done. Nathan is legally ours. Now we wait for ICPC. That process could take up to three weeks. We decide not to wait to see Nathan. We plan on leaving for India this weekend. We will take custody of Nathan and then stay with family in Ahmedabad until ICPC is done. If all goes well, Nathan will be home in the US in the next few weeks. HOORAY.

Rajal

Where we are today

This is Rajal writing. I started this blog because I needed an outlet for all my frustrations with the adoption process. Also, I thought it would make it easier for others to follow along on our journey.

I'm new to blogging so please be patient.

Since this is my first entry. I will start by telling you were we are now and providing a timeline of where we started.

Currently we are waiting for the court in India to process our paperwork. We have been waiting now for 13 1/2 weeks. What we are waiting for is verbal guardianship. That's where the courts say he's legally ours. Approximately 2-3 weeks after that, the court issues the written guardianship. The written court order is then sent to our agency in Texas for ICPC. In US, there are a set of laws called ICPC that must be followed. That process can take up to three weeks.

Back on Jan 1, 2009 we got our NOC. This is a "No Objection Certificate" issued by CARA, an agency of the Indian Federal Government that overseas all adoption cases in India. We expected to have our child home by March 2009. Obviously no progress has been made since Jan 1, we are very worried as to why this is taking so long. Others who got their NOC on the same day as us or after us, are already done with court process and some are even home with their child.

We are scared, stressed, frustrated, losing hope etc. And so we have decided to go to India and take custody of our son. Legally we can foster him anytime after we get the NOC. We got our NOC back on Jan 1. The fostering rules are that we cannot leave the state where the orphanage is located and we must let the orphanage know our address at all times. We are waiting for the orphanage to let us know what day we can come pick up our son for fostering. If all goes well we will leave for India this week. But since nothing has gone well in this entire adoption process, don't be surprised if the date changes.

Sorry for the negativity. I usually am a very happy positive thinking person, but my frustration level is high these days.