On January 2nd, 2010 I hopped on a plane at 6am with my two suitcases and fly away from all I knew and loved. Goodbye home, goodbye friends, goodbye family, goodbye MEC (my company), goodbye Lexus, goodbye life as I know it. The hardest goodbye of all of these was to the loves of life, my hubby and my baby. We finally got a child after 12 years of married life and now I had to say goodbye to him. I know it's not forever, but when I boarded that plane I had no idea when I would be back or when I would see Nathan or Keyoor again. If you noticed, I keep saying I and my. Nathan and Keyoor could not move thanks to the absurd adoption laws in California. Until we finalized Nathan's adoption they could not move. And so we lived apart as a family.
I moved to middle of nowhere Kansas and found a house to rent. It was during a snowstorm. It was worst week. Trying to drive in the snow, scrape ice off the car, shovel the driveway, walk without slipping, trying to stay warm and not get frostbite, finding a neighbor to come help me got my car out which was stuck in a snowdrift. So hard. I cried and cried. Every day I came home to an empty house. No belongings, no furniture, no loved ones. No technology either.
The worst was not what was happening to me or Keyoor but what was happening to Nathan. After three weeks I did a quick trip home. Got in on Saturday and left on Sunday. My outgoing active baby was depressed. Of course he was happy to see me. But I could see the toll this separation had on him. All he wanted to do was sit on the sofa and watch Polar Express. I think it reminded him of happier times (remember Christmas). He no longer wanted to play or be a healthy eater. It was eat emmys (m&ms) and watch Choo-Choo. His face no longer glowed with happiness. He was depressed and angry. Keyoor says he has been like this since I left.
There was still no end in sight for when the adoption would be finalized. Our agency sent all the necessary reports to the Sacramento Family Court at the beginning of January. Every week Keyoor would take a day off work and spend the day at the court trying to get them to issue us a court. No luck.
After seeing Nathan that weekend I couldn't stand to see his pain. My mother suggested I bring him to Kansas and she would come stay with me and help take care of him. The Monday I got back I found daycare. A wonderful school called Kids R Kids. The following weekend Keyoor brought Nathan to Kansas to stay. My mom came out and Keyoor left. We decided that once we get the court date Keyoor would move. So every week Keyoor continued to go to the courthouse and every week he was told to come back next week. And so January ended with me, my mom, and Nathan in Kansas. Keyoor still in California. It so makes me mad that a system that is suppose to look at welfare of the child could care less about Nathan's suffering from being separated. No matter how many times Keyoor explained it to the court, they did not care. Shame on you Sacramento Family Court. Shame on you.
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